Micro(soft Outlook) Management
These comments will come as no surpise to the adept workplace leader, but are perhaps pertinent for other young turks who have yet to learn these facile lessons.
1. In the beginning, God created the Earth, and many other things. It took her thousands of years to create email, and to my knowledge, she has never actually used email to communicate. Email is not a problem solving method. Email is the worst way to communicate important messages. Generally, the more important is the message, the more important it is that you pick up the phone or go make a visit to the person concerned.
2. Never email angry. That's why the good Lord created Draft messages in Microsoft Outlook. That line that you thought was very clever, well, it was very clever. And you're fired.
3. Email is the worst way to delegate tasks. If you wouldn't have written a memo about it 15 years ago, don't write an email about it. It is too easy to delegate in our electronic age. Maybe its just in the army that this happens, but the poor junior guy who has nobody to e-delegate to ends up with way too much on his plate. Besides, delegating via email says "I don't care very much about this task".
4. Don't reply to angry emails. Forward them to wiser people who can action them, call the person to problem-solve, or delete them. Angry people suck. (They know they suck, that's why they are angry).
5. Blackberrys are the flail that the monks of the capitalist monastery abuse themselves with during all hours of the day, paying for their sins of greed. They are good for people who get stuck in lines a lot at the bank, or get chauffeured to work (generally not the same class of people). That's about it.
6. Putting a silly quotation at the end of your signature is kitschy, so it had better be a good one....
7. Blind Carbon Copy is a device of cowardice. It is rare that BCC can be used appropriately, unless you are conducting a sting on a criminal organization, and you need to put CSIS in BCC.
8. What you forward, is what you are. A good forward to the right person, is at best a little bit funny. A bad forward is incredibly lame. Some people, instead of having a swear jar, need a forward jar... If they would put a dollar in the jar every time they forwarded, then they would eventually stop. I mean, was that dear friend, who forwarded me a message trying to get everyone in Canada to send little Tim a postcard at Toronto Sick Kids, serious? Have we lost our minds?
9. Asking someone on a date via email is only permissible for those stuck alone on archipelagic islands with no access to telephones, smoke signals, or semaphore.
10. That is all I have for now. If you have others, let me know.
1. In the beginning, God created the Earth, and many other things. It took her thousands of years to create email, and to my knowledge, she has never actually used email to communicate. Email is not a problem solving method. Email is the worst way to communicate important messages. Generally, the more important is the message, the more important it is that you pick up the phone or go make a visit to the person concerned.
2. Never email angry. That's why the good Lord created Draft messages in Microsoft Outlook. That line that you thought was very clever, well, it was very clever. And you're fired.
3. Email is the worst way to delegate tasks. If you wouldn't have written a memo about it 15 years ago, don't write an email about it. It is too easy to delegate in our electronic age. Maybe its just in the army that this happens, but the poor junior guy who has nobody to e-delegate to ends up with way too much on his plate. Besides, delegating via email says "I don't care very much about this task".
4. Don't reply to angry emails. Forward them to wiser people who can action them, call the person to problem-solve, or delete them. Angry people suck. (They know they suck, that's why they are angry).
5. Blackberrys are the flail that the monks of the capitalist monastery abuse themselves with during all hours of the day, paying for their sins of greed. They are good for people who get stuck in lines a lot at the bank, or get chauffeured to work (generally not the same class of people). That's about it.
6. Putting a silly quotation at the end of your signature is kitschy, so it had better be a good one....
7. Blind Carbon Copy is a device of cowardice. It is rare that BCC can be used appropriately, unless you are conducting a sting on a criminal organization, and you need to put CSIS in BCC.
8. What you forward, is what you are. A good forward to the right person, is at best a little bit funny. A bad forward is incredibly lame. Some people, instead of having a swear jar, need a forward jar... If they would put a dollar in the jar every time they forwarded, then they would eventually stop. I mean, was that dear friend, who forwarded me a message trying to get everyone in Canada to send little Tim a postcard at Toronto Sick Kids, serious? Have we lost our minds?
9. Asking someone on a date via email is only permissible for those stuck alone on archipelagic islands with no access to telephones, smoke signals, or semaphore.
10. That is all I have for now. If you have others, let me know.
posted by Lt Smash at 7:20 PM
1 Comments:
Friend:
What would you propose as a punishment for those caught violating rule number 9?
Guilty Number 9 Rule Violator:
I suppose they ought to be shot.
F:
Ouff... Maybe not shot.
GN9RV:
What would you propose?
F:
They should not be allowed to date anymore.
GN9RV:
That's very harsh. I should rather be shot.
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