Petting
Here is official proof from the G of Canada website that Prime Minister Harper is not evil incarnate.
The vetting of the petting is rather intense. Said one kitten who was denied access to the Harper pet programme: "The PMO staff were concerned that I can't prove who my father was... For all they know he could be a member of Al-Cata."
Some fat cats came cattily to the defence of the PMO pet programme... "Canadian cats are all equally petefitted by this programme." Said one cat who insisted that he only be identified as Bryan. "This programme is beginning to make up for 10 years of Liberal Party neglect of the cat community."
Support for the Harper government is not unanimous accross the cat community. Support drops dramatically in downtown areas, where cats largely ignore the new Tory cat policy. Support remains weak in inner-city Toronto and other dirty places.
The ongoing dog vs. cat debate has begun to swing in favour of the cats, even if polls continue to show that Canadians are divided on the issue. However, Mr. Harper insists he will not be swayed by polls. "These polls often include a preponderent sampling of dogs instead of cats." Further he added, "we will not govern according to polls, but rather according to the natural supremacy of cats over dogs. Besides, polls are for the dogs."
Despite his fondness for the fat cats, Mr. Harper has insisted on term limits and occasional elections for his cat collection at 24 Sussex. In the face of resistance from the Senate to its reform, Harper suggests that his stray cats might be a temporary solution. "The attendance record in the Senate would be much higher if I appointed some cats... as long as there is milk and food and a gold-plated pension."
Critics have accused Harper of currying favour with the cat community in order to secure a high profile job in the cat-sector after his government gig. They point out that Harper has consistently refused to tax the cat population, and has given them a free ride on most issues. The parliamentary cat-keeper Réné Chartrand, who keeps a house full of cats just behind the Lester Pearson statue on the west side of the Centre Block, has denied rumours that Harper is being groomed for his job. "Actually, this is not a job. It is just something that I've been doing for the past 20 years to keep out of trouble." Some local tourists have suggested that Harper might make a better cat-keeper than Prrrrime Minister. Given Harper's precarious minority and his propensity for cat-keeping, it is hard to dismiss such wild speculation as wild speculation.
The vetting of the petting is rather intense. Said one kitten who was denied access to the Harper pet programme: "The PMO staff were concerned that I can't prove who my father was... For all they know he could be a member of Al-Cata."
Some fat cats came cattily to the defence of the PMO pet programme... "Canadian cats are all equally petefitted by this programme." Said one cat who insisted that he only be identified as Bryan. "This programme is beginning to make up for 10 years of Liberal Party neglect of the cat community."
Support for the Harper government is not unanimous accross the cat community. Support drops dramatically in downtown areas, where cats largely ignore the new Tory cat policy. Support remains weak in inner-city Toronto and other dirty places.
The ongoing dog vs. cat debate has begun to swing in favour of the cats, even if polls continue to show that Canadians are divided on the issue. However, Mr. Harper insists he will not be swayed by polls. "These polls often include a preponderent sampling of dogs instead of cats." Further he added, "we will not govern according to polls, but rather according to the natural supremacy of cats over dogs. Besides, polls are for the dogs."
Despite his fondness for the fat cats, Mr. Harper has insisted on term limits and occasional elections for his cat collection at 24 Sussex. In the face of resistance from the Senate to its reform, Harper suggests that his stray cats might be a temporary solution. "The attendance record in the Senate would be much higher if I appointed some cats... as long as there is milk and food and a gold-plated pension."
Critics have accused Harper of currying favour with the cat community in order to secure a high profile job in the cat-sector after his government gig. They point out that Harper has consistently refused to tax the cat population, and has given them a free ride on most issues. The parliamentary cat-keeper Réné Chartrand, who keeps a house full of cats just behind the Lester Pearson statue on the west side of the Centre Block, has denied rumours that Harper is being groomed for his job. "Actually, this is not a job. It is just something that I've been doing for the past 20 years to keep out of trouble." Some local tourists have suggested that Harper might make a better cat-keeper than Prrrrime Minister. Given Harper's precarious minority and his propensity for cat-keeping, it is hard to dismiss such wild speculation as wild speculation.
posted by Lt Smash at 1:45 PM
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